You know the drill: hosting life means sifting through 404 logs like a digital archaeologist. This week’s find? Thousands of bots clawing at my server for phpinfo.php in every directory they could dream up—most of which don’t even exist. My usual move? Redirect those suckers straight to an FBI hate crime database download. It’s my little “get lost” postcard—funny, sure, but that’s just the warm-up.
This time, I went full prankster. Buried in the archives, I dug up an 11-year-old phpinfo() output—like a fine wine of deprecated code. I couldn’t resist: I spruced it up, swapped the server hostnames to match mine, and turned the ancient images into slick data-URIs so they’d render like it’s 2025, not 2014. The cherry on top? Every email field now screams
Everything about it is wrong. The paths, the versions, the email addresses - the only thing that's correct is the hostname....so as not to look suspicious!
Now, imagine being a hacker who finally snags that juicy phpinfo.php file—only to realize it’s a glorious fake. When every server detail’s a lie, from emails to versions to config values, it’s like handing them a treasure map that leads to a dumpster. They’re stuck chasing ghosts, wasting cycles on bogus intel while my real setup stays cloaked. It’s not just a prank—it’s a middle finger to their playbook, turning their own game into a wild goose chase. Chaos is a great teacher, and I’m happy to be the lesson.
The best part? While I’m grinning over this little stunt, it’s all built on a foundation of serious security. We’ve got an A+ from SSL Labs, HSTS preloading locked in, and a SecurityHeaders.io A that’s practically framed on my wall. So, yeah, the bots might get a laugh (or a headache) from my fake-out, but my clients get the real deal: hosting that’s tough as nails. Need a site that’s secure enough to sleep easy—and maybe have a chuckle too? I’ve got you covered.
